This week, Financielle community member Kat kindly shares her inheritance story with us. Kat sadly lost her mum, and whilst she was in the midst of grief, she found herself navigating paperwork, legal conversations, and planning a life without her, all while watching her net worth rocket.
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This is Kat’s story
I am very fortunate to have an incredible patchwork family who stick together through thick and thin no matter what. We constantly shuffle money back and forth (if we have it) to support someone from our family who needs it most. This is done without anyone asking for it. I’ve come to terms with the fact that if I am being honest with my family and someone ends up sending money (I never ask for it), I should be grateful, humble and thankful, even though my immediate reaction is always to want to transfer it straight back 😂
My mother had three children, and all of us have different dads. My dad was the last husband and the one that was still married to her and brought assets into the marriage.
Last year in July, we lost my beautiful mum at the age of 72 to a rare health condition called HLH. After a routine hip replacement operation her body started rebelling and after 2 weeks in the ICU and a hell of a rollercoaster ride for us as a family we had to admit that it was time to let her go.
During this time I spent every penny I’d saved up for emergencies as I had to fly abroad to be with her and miss weeks of work. This showed me that money is just a means to make decisions that support the person I want to be and the life I want to live.
My mum never left a will. Now in hindsight I don’t know how she didn’t! She fought cancer for 10 years and never wrote down what she wanted to happen after.
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A year on, and after a lot of admin (which in itself always turns my stomach) we are nearly at the end of sorting out the inheritance. My siblings and my niece have declined their inheritance. This shows you the love and support that we still foster. Most of Mum’s “wealth” was assets from my dad’s side, so my brothers said it’s mine as it’s from my dad.
Sitting in a notary’s office letting them read out a 10 page document for me to agree on was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Having a stranger read out to you that your mother is dead and what you are going to receive from her feels like a punch in the gut. I wanted to give the paper back to him, decline and ask if I could have mum back instead. Of course I couldn’t do this. (On this note, you can always ask to leave the room at any time to take a breath. I did this as well to control my grief and not shout at them 🤭)
Now I am the owner of 63% of a property that is worth €1.2m and am waiting for around €100,000 to hit my account. Am I grateful? Of course! Do I want it all? Yes and No! Of course I would love to have property and more cash to support my journey, but I do not want it in this way. But here I am and I have it now.
The €100,000 is linked to a condition: it must be used for a house deposit. I am still very much in the Survive stage of the Financielle Playbook, so my responsibility is now to get my finances as close to the Build stage as humanly possible before the amount hits my account. I owe her and myself that.
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I try to be grateful for it all even though I have a lot of emotions connected to this. Mainly love and anger. Love for the life she has given me and continues to give me and anger for the fact she had the audacity to leave. And I know that is okay and normal.
